


Ba-Ba-Bankrobbery

by Dodoa



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Awesome Mrs. Hudson, Bank Robbery, Crack, Gen, Pure and utter crack, based on a comedy song, stupid criminal, that about covers it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 06:43:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14847735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dodoa/pseuds/Dodoa
Summary: A bank is robbed while Mrs Hudson is in it. Thankfully the robber is the most incompetent criminal in the history of ever.





	Ba-Ba-Bankrobbery

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a silly little thing I wrote to prove to myself that I can in fact still write, because after eight months of not posting anything I was beginning to doubt it. I got the idea from a German comedy song (Ba-Ba-Banküberfall by EAV, you can find the lyrics and an English translation [here](https://lyricstranslate.com/en/node/1321614/)).

The bank was bustling with people, long lines of people waiting to either leave money or leave with money and then get on with their day, while a single harassed looking clerk was trying to keep up with it all. Mrs Hudson sighed, she was in for a long wait. The shopping would probably have to wait until tomorrow if she wanted to be on time for tea with Mrs Turner. At least she had something to do while she waited, bless John for introducing her to audiobooks.

Fifteen minutes later, during a very unrealistic but nevertheless exciting car chase, there seemed to be some kind of commotion at the doors, heads were starting to turn and just as Mrs Hudson was turning around herself to see what was going on, someone jostled past her. Well, that was just rude! Really, no one had proper manners anymore, but she wasn’t going to let that ruffian get away with jumping the queue.

Grabbing him by the arm, before he could get past her completely, she admonished him: “You can wait in line like everyone else, young man. You’re not the only one who –“ the words froze in her throat as she looked up and saw the black stocking pulled down over the mans face. Had she just told a bank robber to get in line? Surely not, especially since the man apologised politely and meekly made his way to the end of the line. Maybe the mask was some weird new fashion fad? When she looked around, she only saw shocked and disbelieving faces, though and the clerk had one hand under the table where Sherlock had told her the panic button was located. He too was staring at her like she was crazy. Well the police was probably already on their way, so naturally, Mrs Hudson texted her tenant.

_Don’t be alarmed, but I_   
_may be caught up in a_   
_bank robbery._

The response was almost instantaneous.

**Where are you?**   
**SH**

And more texts were coming in before she could even start on replying to the first.

**Never mind, Lestrade is**   
**tracing your phone.**   
**SH**

**Are you alright?**   
**SH**

**And what do you mean**   
**‘may be’?**   
**SH**

Meanwhile no one seemed to know how to handle the situation, but since there didn’t seem to be an imminent threat, the clerk continued calling people to the counter. A few people left the line, apparently not willing to put up with a botched robbery on top of the ridiculous waiting time, and slowly inched towards the exit. The robber made no move to stop them.

_Oh I’m fine, I was at the_   
_bank depositing your_   
_rent check. And this_   
_young man barged in_   
_with a stocking pulled_   
_over his face and_   
_everything, but he’s_   
_waiting in line now._

**We’re on our way.Is he**   
**armed?**   
**SH**

_I don’t know. Looks like_   
_he’s holding something_   
_under his coat._

**Gun?**   
**SH**

_Too small, looks like it_   
_might just be his hand._

**A bluff? Not a knife?**   
**SH**

_That would have to be a_   
_very small knife. I don’t_   
_think he’s thought the_   
_whole thing through. He_   
_looks terrified._

**Terrified?**   
**SH**

_And skinny, even worse_   
_than you. I don’t think_   
_he’s really dangerous,_   
_do you?_   
_[picture attached]_

**He does look rather**   
**pathetic. We’re almost**   
**there.**   
**SH**

_It’s my turn anyway._   
_Have to go._

Sherlock entered the bank with John in tow just as Mrs Hudson was finishing up at the counter. He strode right up to her and once he’d determined that she was in fact fine, made to lead her to the exit. Before they got there, though, she stopped him with a hand to his arm: “Oh, do you think we could stay a little longer? I want to see what he does when it’s his turn.”


End file.
